Jokes

Kung Fu Masters

Two kung-fu masters were carrying on about their respective skills. "Why, my reflexes are such that you will not believe," boasted Master Foo and drawing his sword, he sliced at a passing fly, which promptly dropped dead in two pieces.

"That’s nothing," said Master Koh. Drawing his sword, he made two deft cuts at another passing fly.

Master Foo was highly amused. "What are you talking about?" he sneered. "That fly is still flying."

"Ah yes," replied Master Koh, "but now it can never have children."

Poor Priest

A priest was taking a shower late at night when he realised that there were no more bars of soap in the toilet, and thus he couldnt wash himself. He came out of the shower and realised he forgot to bring his towel along too, and could not dry himself. So he powdered himself dry and proceeded to look for some soap. As it was late at night, and the priest was feeling a bit daring, he decided to head to the nun’s toilet and get the soap bar from there.

He tiptoed over to the toilet and managed to get two bars of soap, and started heading back to his toilet. However as he was about to leave the nun’s toilet, he heard voices approaching! Thinking fast, he quickly stood perfectly still against the wall of the toilet.

Three nuns came in and saw the white figure. They exclaimed to each other, "Wow that is new in this toilet, i wonder why is this statue put here." Then one of the nuns spotted the priest’s "knob" and said, "Oh what is that thing?" and proceeded to pull it.

The priest was so shocked that he accidentally dropped one of the soap bars. "Oh it is a soap dispenser!" said the nuns. The second nun pulled his "knob" as well and the second soap bar dropped. The third nun also pulled it, but nothing happened. The third nun did not want to lose out to the first two nuns, so she pulled and turned and pushed the ‘knob’ many many times. Suddenly she exclaimed, "Oh look! Hand cream!"

Late for Work

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That’s all fine" said the boss. "But where were you yesterday?"

3 junior monks and 1 senior monk

3 junior monks went on a training excursion with a senior monk and the 3 junior monks was asked to get naked,get into a hot spring and put a paper on their private part.They were to resist temptation regardless of what,if they were to fail they would be punished.
So the senior monk got a girl to wear a bikini and get down in the water and 1 monk’s paper broke and that monk lost.
The 2nd temptation was a naked girl to get into the water and another monk’s paper broke.
The senior monk praised the last monk for his power to resist temptation and got naked to enjoy the hot spring with the last monk.
When the senior monk got naked,the last monk’s paper broke