Monthly Archives: May 2009

Jokes

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London . She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunken sailor slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same
hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the same little drunken sailor slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunken sailor and said, "I say, old chap, it’s your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?’"

"As far as I’m concerned", the drunken sailor replied, "any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

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SON OF a b**ch

A little boy was doing his maths homework.

He said to himself,
"Two plus five, the son of a b**ch is seven.

Three plus six, the son of a b**ch is nine…"

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I’m doing my maths homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
Teaching my son in maths?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son
Of a b**ch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

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~~~Mad COW Disease~~~

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with
a farmer,seeking the main cause of Mad Cow Disease.

The Lady: Good evening, sir. I am here to collect
information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you
offer any reason for this disease?

The Farmer stared at the reporter and said:
Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a
year?

The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed):
Well, sir, that’s a new piece Of information, but
what’s the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?

The Farmer: And, madam, do you know that we milk a
cow twice a day?

The reporter: Sir, this is really valuable
information, but what about
getting to the point?

The Farmer: I am getting to the point, madam.
Just imagine, if I was playing with your B**bs twice
a day and only screwing you once a Year, wouldn’t you get mad?